Connection for Protection – This concept was introduced to me in passing by my beloved Pilates instructor in reference to my ever pained body and how I must live more connected to my body to protect myself the best I can. Ok, a protected body, it is always in some degree of pain so that makes sense. But you know me, you say the word connection and I AM ALL EARS!!!! I have been chewing on what this means to all of us – in a “good way” and that not so good way. You know what I mean, when we protect ourselves soooo much from emotional pain, our inner experience, from imperfection, shame, vulnerability, our pain points that we protect, protect, protect and distract, distract, distract. We think protection will protect our calm, but the cost is too high.
- What about a protected heart?
- A protected me?
- A protected you?
- A protected us?
- Where does living protected leave us?
- Are we living too protected?
From my experiences behind closed doors in the work I do with clients, I can confidently say we are living too protected at the cost of the calm and connection we are all seeking. Though I clearly see the positive aspects of being protected, what if we protect so much we become walled off from connection?
Connection for Protection on a positive note:
There is immeasurable value of community and having our own tribe, having the reliable roles, rules and rituals of family, groups of friends, co-workers and so on. Connection, belonging and intimacy are a form of protection from the dangers of being alone, the danger of being too dependent on self. People! We are a healthfully dependent species – why did we ever tout anything different?
Connection for Protection – the not so positive part:
When we are super protected, must stay within the lines, must not upset the apple cart (are there really apple carts anymore? Bonus points: email me the origin of this phase, for real, I love this type of information DeniseOnofrey@gmail.com…
Thinking points:
1. Who do you want to have more of a connection with? Either a restored connection or a more enriched connection?
2. How have you created a wall of protection that keeps you from connection?
Raise your hand if you’d like relationships to be more connected & easier! Download PART ONE of the free workbook, Connection Strategies for Every Relationship.